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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?